Never Forget

After working harder than I ever have for six months in Afghanistan, I am now enjoying some much needed vacation time. Home feels the same in many ways. My dog still loves me. The ocean is still refreshing. Charleston is still a fabulous place to live. Nevertheless, everything seems different as well. I am enjoying the little things in life a lot more. Things like a hot shower, quiet nights, and a comfortable bed are more appreciated now. I am more grateful for our country. We truly have more blessings than most of us can imagine. I am also trying to live in the moment. However, more often than not my time in Afghanistan is on my mind. It was an unforgettable, life changing experience for many reasons.

Who could forget the 19th of May? At 3 in the morning I was sleeping in the on call room when I was awakened by BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. We were told to get our weapons and stay put in our duty sections. As we huddled together in the hospital, the fighting seemed like it was just outside the door. Apache helicoptors were hovering above us and were raining rounds down on the base perimeter. The army took position with their armored vehicles and quickly gained firepower superiory. The firefight lasted maybe an hour although it seemed much longer. 20 terrorists attacked our base that night with a myriad of weapons. None of them survived. They managed to kill one person and wound 5 others. Their actions put our base into lockdown for several days. Security was increased. Several of my colleagues were shaken by this experience and would not sleep well for the remainder of the deployment.

Who could forget our six year old patient with brain trauma? Modaser sustained an injury to the right side of his head. He was a victim of war related violence. He was also one of the cutest and most entertaining kids you ever want to meet. His hospital course was complicated by an infection that required long term antibiotics. He actually had a wound vacuum on his head. Modaser also had neurological damage which caused his right leg to not work properly. No problem. His solution was to simply walk more. Modaser did countless laps around the hospital. His walking improved greatly over weeks. His infection eventually was eradicated. He was quiet at first, but then he came out of his shell big time. Modaser had the great gift of gab. He would talk practically non-stop in his native tongue. Then, he would smile and laugh. Modaser single handedly raised the morale of our staff every day. I hope that he is safe in his village right now and that he is able to help his country become a better place.

Who could forget the baby faced marine with the leg amputation and the open abdomen? He spent several weeks guarding a prisoner who was hospitalized. His unit had captured the suspected terrorist. He was a nice kid that was well liked by everyone. Eventually, the prisoner left the hospital and the baby faced marine returned to Helmand Province. This is one of the most dangerous places on earth right now. Shortly after leaving us, he returned as a critical trauma patient. It was so difficult for us to see someone we actually knew get torn up by yet another IED blast. It was hard to stomach even looking at him as he lay motionless on a ventilator in the ICU. He was stabilized and sent on to Germany. His wounds will likely heal, but he will never be the same.

Who could forget working with extraordinary people? Dr. Mike Greene became my closest friend in Afghanistan. We both did our residency in Family Medicine at the University of Nebraska and Offutt Air Force Base. Mike was two years behind me in his training. He was an intern when I was the chief resident of the program. We barely knew each other then. But now we have shared a difficult experience together. Mike is very dedicated to his work. He showed up every day to see his patients at oh dark zero. I would make it in at oh dark thirty. He always went the extra mile even when the sheer number of patients was practically unmanageable. We often needed time away from the hospital just to talk about the insanity of it all. We leaned on one another to make it through the deployment. His work ethic, patience, and integrity inspired me every day to be a better doctor.

There are certain experiences in life that shape us. Some even change us for the better. Many of the events of the past 6 months are burned into my brain. My world view has changed. The little things in life are more important now. The small stuff is not as stressful now. I feel very grateful for my many blessings. Friends and family matter more than ever before. I am more connected with my spiritual side. I want these feelings to stay with me indefinitely. Without a doubt, life goes on after Afghanistan. It is important to compartmentalize the memories in order to move forward. But, I hope to never forget all that happened. I hope to never forget how it felt to take care of the wounded. I hope to never forget all the people that prayed for us. I hope to never forget those that were severely injured. I hope to never forget the hard work of the troops. I hope to never forget those that paid the ultimate sacrifice. I hope to never forget those that are serving our country at home and abroad. I hope to never forget all the difficult lessons that I learned serving our country.