Monday, October 18, 2010

Life After Afghanistan - My Dog Maddy!

We have now been at war in Afghanistan for over 9 years. It is officially the longest war in our history. Vietnam clearly was longer and bloodier, but it was not always called a war for whatever reason. So, what affect does war have on a country? Thousands of miles away from the bombs and the blasts, there are profound consequences here in America. When even one service member deploys, it touches so many people. Entire communities pray every day for safe and speedy returns. The families go through a range of emotions. It puts tremendous strain on our military back home. I see spouses and kids every day in our clinic who have a range of issues that are undoubtedly related to the war. There are kids acting out, spouses who cannot sleep, and extramarital affairs. It is not pretty. We have programs in place to help. But, many times really nothing can help. And, when the deployer returns things will never quite be the same. In my own life I have experienced this in a way that I did not anticipate at all. Enter my dog Maddy. Let me explain.



In August of 2009 I adopted Maddy. She was a rescue dog that I met at a charity event. She came right up to me with a friendly greeting and the rest is history. Maddy is a yellow labrador retriever who has been through a lot. Apparently she was rescued some time ago when she was quite emaciated. In fact, Maddy had delievered a litter of puppies and was found laying down with all her puppies surrounding her. Her left side was literally stuck to sizzling hot black asphault. She was peeled off the ground and taken in for treatment. This left her with a permanent spot on her left side that will never grow fur completely. All of her puppies died. She spent the next 6 months living in various households as the rescue organization attempted to find a suitable owner. Her health was in peril. Maddy had heartworms which left untreated can be fatal. It is an expensive and long treatment to eradicate the heartworms. This was left for the new owner which of course is me.



The very first night that Maddy stayed at my home it was apparent that she had major issues. She began scratching herself vigorously. It was out of control. I attempted to console her to no avail. She actually scratched so much that a nipple bled. Wow. I took Maddy to the vet a few days later. The intitial bill was $500 and she came home on 6 medications. Her skin was in horrible shape. She needed heartworm treatment ASAP. Nevertheless, we bonded quickly. It is hard not to love Maddy. She is great around people. She comes right up to you and puts her face in your lap. Then she lays down on her back begging for a belly rub. She has an almost insatiable need for affection. Eventually Maddy began the extensive heartworm eradication. She had a section of her fur shaved off and was injected with powerful medications once a month for several months. Over the course of about 6 months the worms were slowly eliminated.



In December 2009 I deployed to Afghanistan. Maddy once again had to adapt to a new caregiver. I had made arrangements for a live in pet sitter so that she could stay in the same home. I thought this would make it a lot easier for her but that was not the case. Maddy's caregiver Jessica told me little about what was going on back in Charleston. That was a blessing because I needed to be focused 100% on my work at Bagram. My sister Annie took care of Maddy a lot as well. She also kept any details about Maddy to herself. Fast forward to July 2010 . I was home and at first everything seemed okay with Maddy. Then, the attacks started. She would go into attack mode anytime another dog was spotted. There are tons of dogs in the neighborhood. It made walks with her absolutely miserable. She would be bucking like a bronco, barking up a storm, and foaming at the mouth. It was embarrassing. Then one day it really got out of hand. Maddy spotted a golden retriever, got off the leash, and made a bee line for the other dog. She attacked the other dog. I actually had to run over and tackle Maddy to get her away. This was BAD!

So, I hired a dog trainer. Over the course of the next 2 months, I learned a lot about handling dogs. Maddy is in fact trainable. We went to public areas and attempted to socialize her. It was often painful. Progress was slow. Maddy would show glimpses of good behavior, then revert back to the bucking bronco on the next walk. It was frustrating. I actually thought about not only getting rid of her, but having her put to sleep. You would understand if you saw these outbursts. After several months, Maddy graduated from dog training school. Her prize was a small stuffed goat to chew. Graduation did not in any way mean that she was all better. In fact, it is still a struggle today. Every day I have to walk her with caution. I give her positive feedback as much as possible. Spending a lot of time with her seems to help. Exercising her for about an hour a day is key. When she gets excited, then we run which seems to calm her fairly well. Maddy has a lot of room for improvement. Progress is slow, but there is hope. If I can get her to get along well with other dogs it will be one of my biggest accomplishments in life. No kidding.

I did not in any way anticipate that my deployment would affect my dog as much as much as it did. Unbelievable. Maddy is a great dog overall. She has so much to offer. I look forward to seeing her every time I come home. Yep, that's corny but true. You would understand if you met her. She is very lovable. But, this whole thing has been harder than I ever expected. I guess even our pets have a hard time with deployments!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Life After Afghanistan - America is Beautiful!

Yes, THE BLOG IS BACK! Why? Simply stated, the deployment experience lives on... even after you are back home safely... sleeping in your own bed again... reunited with your dog... on vacation in great places... laughing with friends and family... swimming in the ocean... or just back in normal routine of everyday life.

It has been 3 months since I arrived back on American soil the evening of July 2nd. It was an amazing feeling to be home again after a long, tough deployment. The ephoria of being home wore off in three or four weeks. I was then left to process all that happened in Afghanistan. As much as I would like to forget about it all, that's impossible. My two deployments are now a part of me forever. As I write this, not even one fiber of my being wants to return to Afghanistan in this lifetime. Who want want to go back to that war torn country when you live in America?

In the last few months I have been able to see and do a lot. It has solidified the fact that we live in an amazing country. In July I took a trip to San Francisco. Wow, what a fabulous city! I met up with my friend Mona there. She is a dynamic person that I met while living in Nebraska. We had an absolute blast touring and experiencing all that San Fran has to offer. The scenery along the coast really is "breathtaking". That's the first time I've ever used that word to describe something! Of course, I ran the San Francisco Half Marathon for fun. It actually went over The Golden Gate Bridge. Not your average Sunday morning run for sure! Perhaps the best experience in San Francisco was something completely random. Mona and I were walking back to our hotel when we came upon a crowd. There was music blasting. People were dancing. Essentially, it was a spontaneous dance party right in front of city hall. It was the most eclectic group of people I have ever seen all having a blast right in the middle of the city. Nobody cared. It was just pure fun. The cops drove by and told everyone to have a good time. So, here was a group of total strangers from all walks of life who were able to spontaneously come together. I was astounded. None of the people wanted to kill anyone. There was no hatred. Politics did not matter. It was just pure fun. The war seemed a million miles away for me.

In September I was able to take another cool trip, this time to Seattle. I went with my good friend Jeremy from Charleston. We went there to experience the northwest, to take in the sights, and to get away from our busy lives. It was an action packed vacation. We started by going to the top of the Space Needle. We finished by taking in a college football game between my team Nebraska and the University of Washington. In between we went kayacking on Lake Union with the Seattle skyline at our backs, travelled up to see the surprisingly cosmepolitan metropolis of Vancouver, and did white water rafting in the mountains. Mostly though we explored the interesting city of Seattle. The neighborhoods have so much character. The layout of the city is unique with Elliot Bay, Puget Sound, and 3 lakes dividing up the city. The air is fresh and cool. On a sunny day, it is definitely one of the most beautiful places in the USA. The sun was shining at Husky Stadium as we watched my Nebraska Cornhuskers pile on the touchdowns against the University of Washington. The only thing that reminded me of the war that day was the fly over of fighter jets, and those thoughts were fleeting. I was in heaven that day.

On top of these vacations, I get to live in the crown jewel of the south. Living in Charleston is a little slice of paradise. I never get tired of strolling through the historic district. The ocean is always refreshing here. The people are friendly. I live in Mount Pleasant which often is called Mount Perfect. Need I say more? My summer in Charleston was filled with family visits and reconnecting with friends here. My parents both came for nice visits. And, over Labor day weekend we were able to have 5 of the 6 Hayes siblings and 9 of the 12 nieces and nephews all here for the weekend. We had a blast together. There were Hayes kids running all over the beach. We all visited my sister Annie at her art booth in the Charleston market one night. My 12 year old nephew Joe got to meet his first ever bachelorette party while we were downtown that night. The photo of that is priceless and is currently displayed on my refrigerator. Good times.

After 6 months in a dusty, smelly, dry, nasty place... well, anything would seem better than Afghanistan. Americans often overlook the fact that we live in a vast country with so many interesting things to see and do. I hope to never take our country for granted again. After all, America is Beautiful!